“THE DAY I STOPPED BEING THE MR. NICE GUY”
A Story Inspired by Dr. Robert Glover’s audiobook “No More Mr. Nice Guy”
I used to think being nice would solve everything.
I never raised my voice, always complied,
Even when it hurt, I smiled, I tried.
I agreed when I disagreed, sought to please,
A dependable soul, gentle as a breeze.
Yet beneath the surface, exhaustion grew,
Invisible, I felt, as if no one knew.
One Sunday morning, at brunch with a grin,
I masked my anger, the turmoil within.
“Lucky,” they said, “to have such calm,”
But inside I was raging, seeking a balm.
That night in the mirror, I posed a question,
“Why give so much, yet feel no connection?”
A few days later, in the depths of the night,
A video caught my eye, shedding light.
“Nice Guys Finish Last,” it proclaimed,
A book by Dr. Glover, my thoughts were named.
By the third chapter, my mind laid bare,
“Nice Guys believe love is earned through care.”
But love eluded me; I felt like a ghost,
Walked on and weary, I needed it most.
I began to shift, small changes in sight,
Saying “no” without guilt, reclaiming my right.
I stopped the resentment, let anger arise,
Honoring feelings, no need for disguise.
In a men’s group, I found my true voice,
No pretences allowed, just real talk, my choice.
Some didn’t like this new version of me,
“Distant,” she said, but I felt so free.
We parted ways; it was painful yet true,
For the first time, I was simply me, not a view.
Journaling daily, my thoughts took flight,
“I am not here to be liked; I seek the light.”
Now, I’m still kind, but not for approval’s sake,
I laugh a bit louder; I take up the space.
I may disappoint, but respect comes in kind,
Stronger and grounded, a new peace I find.
The lesson I learned, in this journey of mine,
Being “nice” isn’t good; I’ve drawn the line.
Men deserve wholeness, to authentically be,
To stop seeking approval and start being free.
Maame Akua Kyerewaa-Antwi